Courtroom Quotations

Posted in Labels: , 5:37 PM
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."
  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."
  • Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
  • Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
  • Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
  • Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
  • Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
  • Witness: "'Winchester'!"
  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."
  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."
  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."
  • Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
  • Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."
  • Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
  • Witness: "After the accident?"
  • Lawyer: "Before the accident."
  • Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."
  • Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
  • Witness: "Yes, sir."
  • Lawyer: "What did she say?"
  • Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  • Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
  • Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
  • Officer: "Yes, I do."
  • Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
  • Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."
  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
  • Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"
  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
  • Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
  • Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
  • Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
  • Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
  • Witness: "Four times."
  • Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
  • Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  • Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
  • Witness: "Not yet."
  • Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
  • Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
  • Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
  • Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"
  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
  • Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."
  • Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
  • Witness: "Fair."
  • Lawyer: "Are you married?"
  • Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
  • Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
  • Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."
  • Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"
  • Witness: "My ex-widow said it.
  • Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
  • Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
  • Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
  • Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."
  • The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."
  • Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
  • Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
  • Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
  • Witness: "Attached to the ears."
  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
  • Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
  • Witness: "Oral."
  • Lawyer: "How old are you?"
  • Witness: "Oral."
  • Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
  • Witness: "She is my daughter."
  • Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"
  • Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"
  • Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
  • Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"
  • Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."
  • Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
  • Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
  • Lawyer: "It was covered?"
  • Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
  • Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
  • Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."
  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
  • Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
  • Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."
  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."
  • Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
  • Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
  • Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
  • Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

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Handbook to A Colorful Life ^-^

Posted in Labels: , 5:23 PM
My sister shared this "handbook" to me and I also want to share this with all of you.  It all makes sense and all of this may be already known to us but sometimes it's just so hard to do.  We neglect these simple things and we opt for a more complicated life.  Why are human (am an alien) like that? 

Anyways, just review the handbook and reflect on it..

Handbook 2009
Health:
1.       Drink plenty of water.
2.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
         beggar.
3..       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
         that is manufactured in plants.
4.       Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5.       Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6.       Play more games.
7.       Read more books than you did in 2008.
8.       Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9.       Sleep for 7 hours..
10.      Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11.    Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their
       journey is all about.
12.    Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
       invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.    Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14.    Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip..
16.    Dream more while you are awake.
17.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18.    Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
       mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.. Don't hate others.
20.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
       are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
       class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23.    Smile and laugh more.
24.    You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
25.    Call your family often.
26.    Each day give something good to others.
27.    Forgive everyone for everything.
28.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 &; under the age of 6.
29.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
31.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
       will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32.    Do the right thing!
33.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34.    GOD heals everything.
35.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37.    The best is yet to come.
38.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39.    Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.


Cheers to a happy life!  hope it can help you :)
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University Games 2009 - Result of Women's Football

Posted in Labels: , , 1:28 PM
The week-long 14th University Games was hosted by Central Philippines University   with over 50 schools who participated.  It started last Saturday, October 24 and ended on Friday, October 30.  Other towns were also held as venue for other events and we are really  glad that to be one.


How exciting it was when I knew that the  University Games women's football will be played  in Sta. Barbara. Though I haven't got the chance to watch the game all through  out, I was able to witness the opening game and the championship yesterday. (I felt migraine when I woke up and decided not to go to work, the migraine surprisingly disappeared when the team I cheered for won!)


The closing games for football  include  UP-Diliman and USC (University of San Carlos) who vied for the 3rd and 4th rankings.  The game ended with a score of 4 - 0 in favor of UP.



The most exciting part of course, is the championship game.  I went out about 2:30 in the afternoon, just in time for the first half.  My friends are already positioned in the shadowy part of the balcony of our other friend.  Lady D is hiding behind a punching bag, while I  hid behind bro K (hehe) form the glaring sun. Each of us has his own bets (mine is UST) and at stake are 2 boxes of pizza pie.  It's so funny when sexy J cheered loud  and clapped hard when UST made a  goal on the first half when she is betting for the other team! haha!




It was a close fight between the two competing schools - UST and La Salle.  But during the break, the tension was eased when an askal run into the field and for the laugh of all, sh*t right in the middle of it. The askal suddenly became  the star of the day!  haha!


There were many close attempts made by La Salle team during  the second half but  the goal keeper of UST  managed to defend their post.   The game ended with the score of 1 - 0 in favor of UST.



UST team...


   Philippine team daw..no wonder daug sila...




cutipie n0.8


champion - UST


La Salle team..

the coach...grabe mang yaw2x...


the crowd...


first class ang ticket...

 
 some of the players were teary eyed...

 
 bruises all over....


idol ni lady D....

Hoping for more events like this :)

Result of other games here..








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Welcome!

Posted in Labels: , 2:15 AM
Welcome to my blog!  I have been wanting to make a personal blog since last year but my grasshopper mind, again, fritter away doing other  things that I can't remember of anymore.  Probably I got busy with my client during that time or maybe I get hooked up with facebook (yeah, more likely to be the culprit) so much. Well, enough of the pinpointing!

Anyways,  maybe today  is really the right time for me to start this expose.  Yeah, expose.  I'll let you take a peek to the different colors of my life, what or who makes those colors  and I also  gonna share with you some of my darkest secrets (later!).  Back to why I said today is the right time? Because I feel so alone right now (huhu!) and  needed someone or something to be my outlet.  My client also left me without nothing to do for weeks (he is always on trip) so I got plenty of spare time.


So again, welcome to my blog! 



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